Both/And
“Either/or” thinking has never been appealing to me. People argue, “Either you think this or you think that, but you can’t think both.” Others will argue, “Either you feel one way or you feel another way, but you can’t feel both.” These are people who know what they think and know what they feel. There is no ambiguity in their lives. They present themselves as confident and self-assured.
I, on the other hand, am wishy-washy. I know that about myself. For some reason, I’m cursed to see both sides of a reasoned argument equally. Often I’m stuck in the conundrum mire of competing opposite emotions, unable to claim either one as a definitive truth. I live in a “both/and” world of abstraction. I would argue it’s possible to love and hate at the same time, to feel sadness and elation simultaneously. For example, I’m capable of being highly critical of my country and call myself a patriot at the same time. I can be furious with my children and be willing to die for them. I will argue the necessity of pacifism while understanding the need for aggression. I embrace my simultaneous passion and apathy for the church (more on this one in coming posts).
“Both/and” thinking, to me, is a result of our complex world. “Either/or” thinking tends to be too simplistic for me–too limiting. Life is ambiguous. Everyday we make choices based on competing truths. We do the best we can as we muddle through the voices and emotions that pull us. For me, “both/and” is not an evil of my existence; it simply is my existence. All our lives are contradictions of thought and emotions. “Both/and” thinking means I’m never offended when someone disagrees with me because they may be right, or I may be right, or we both may be right.
Comments
Share your thoughts...
