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Slippery

I woke a few days ago at 4:00 a.m. with a startling new insight on my mind.  This happens to me occasionally when I go to bed contemplating a problem or idea.  Sometimes I get up to write it down, but then I’m so awake I have trouble going back to sleep.  Other times, like this morning, I lie in my warm bed contemplating the truth while moving in and out of wakefulness.  This is a dangerous alternative because often I lose the insight completely, which is what happened this morning.  Truth and insight seem to be extremely slippery.  Even when a new insight comes to me while fully awake, I can’t always hold on to it.  I know it to be true.  I know its something I need to apply to my everyday living.  Then I move in and out of life and wake up to find it’s gone.  

morocco-315.jpgMy wife and I bought a house a few years ago that had an in-ground pool.  Due to the miniature size of the pool the small shallow end dropped quickly to the deep end.  One of the first things I had to do was repaint the bottom of the pool.  I drained it, cleaned it, purchased the special expensive paint and repainted the entire surface with slick glossy paint.  After it had dried I had to go into the deep end after a rain to pump out the rain water.  To my embarrassment I discovered I could not get out.  I had removed the ladder to paint and the steep incline to the shallow end was too slippery.  I tried running up the slope only to fall and slide backwards into the large puddle of rain water.  I tried again and again with the same results.  There was simply nothing to hang on to.  Soaked, embarrassed, and exhausted I finally inched my way up the slope.

Truth seems to be like that.  Sometimes there seems to be nothing to hold on to, nothing to pull us up out of our pit of ignorance.  We think we have it, then we slip and fall and it’s gone again.  Perhaps that’s why I seem so compelled to write my insights down.  If I don’t, they are gone.  Even when I do, I still lose them.  Sometimes I go back and reread what I wrote on this blog a few weeks or months ago and am amazed I thought those things because they are now gone from my consciousness.  No wonder consistency in life is so difficult.  We’re all stuck at the bottom of the slippery pool.

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