Emotion
My wife and I were having a conversation earlier today in which she shared some of her heartfelt desires. She allowed her emotions to show so I knew how deeply she felt. I appreciate the ability she has to speak from her heart and to share her emotion. As much as I might want to be one of those “sensitive” males who is in touch with his emotions, I have to admit I rarely progress to that point. I am, in many ways the typical male who refuses to recognize the emotions that drive me. For example, several months ago at a counseling session (yes, I need counseling, too), my counselor kept trying to get me to admit my anger toward some people who had hurt me and my family. I was much more comfortable keeping it in my head. There, I could rationalize their behavior for them and find forgiveness more easily.
Reflection is an important ingredient for growth. That’s why I spend so much time writing my reflections in this blog. Some of our best educational minds talk about the need for both action and reflection. Action alone is not enough. It’s not enough, for example, that I went on a mission trip and helped a few people. I also need to reflect on those experiences and how they speak to my life. I would argue all of us need to reflect on what we do and say. However, I’m also learning that reflection in itself is not enough, either. I also need to feel. I can step outside myself and reflect on my actions and even on how I should feel about something, but that’s not the same as allowing myself to feel–anger, sadness, frustration, empathy, pain, and more.
I went to Guatemala because I knew I needed to get out of my head and act. In the action I found a lot of new fodder for reflection. But what I also learned was that I have more steps to take. I need to add action to my reflection, but I also need to add emotion to my reflection. I need to allow my action and reflection to seep into the depths of my heart. My action for the Guatemalan people, for my family, or for the families I work with here in Oklahoma will have so much more power and accomplish so much more if they arise from a deep compassion or righteous indignation or deep empathy. I’m still working on ways to release those emotions that are within me, but they scare me. They remind me of my own vulnerability.
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