Finding Peace in Patience
I went to lunch recently at a restaurant in another city from where I live. As I entered, people stood in line to be seated. I could tell the waitresses were busy and the place seemed to be crowded. I settled in to wait for my turn. The couple in front of me chatted quietly together. After a few minutes a middle-aged woman came in along with an elderly woman I presumed was her mother. “What? We have to wait?” she said loud enough for everyone in the waiting area to hear.
Less than thirty seconds later she pushed past me and said, “Have you been waiting long?” I answered her back side, however, as she moved on into the restaurant determined to find out the problem. I could see and hear bits of the interchange between this woman and the lady at the cash register. “We’re doing the best we can, Ma’am,” she tried to explain. When that wasn’t good enough, the cashier repeated herself a little more forcefully.
Eventually, the woman turned and strode back to where we stood and convinced the elderly lady with her to go someplace else to eat. They left with her mumbling under her breath about poor service and ridiculous attitudes. I was seated not too long after that by a smiling, pleasant hostess, and my lunch experience was fine.
It’s easy for me to pick on this impatient woman, but let me depart from that by pointing out that all of us, including me, deal with impatience. We all may not handle our irritation as boldly or obnoxiously as this particular lady, but we might make a quiet comment to our friends or say something smart to the hostess when it finally comes our turn. Or we might just carry with us an unpleasant attitude. I’ve done it with my children and my spouse when I become impatient with them. I’ve done it with co-workers or store clerks, and yes, even waitresses.
Why do we think we deserve what we want when we want it? I want to blame it on something external like our society that teaches us that we are more important than anyone else or the advertisers that convince us that instant gratification is a right. However, I know that if that were the case all of us would be impatient and obnoxious all the time. Instead, we are each able to manage our impatience. Some people demonstrate phenomenal patience. They simply allow life to come to them without the expectation of being the focus of others’ attentions all the time. They have learned to find joy in the waiting, to be content in whatever moment they are in.
As I waited in that restaurant, I was able to find that place of pleasure. Unfortunately, it is fleeting. Later in the day, I began to emulate the woman in my attitudes and expectations of others. I became irritable and disgusted. My words seemed to come out of my mouth with sharp edges and my mood went south. So why is it we can’t hold on to the serenity of patience and the ability to set aside what we want in order to experience the goodness of the moment?
Take a few deep breaths. Breathe in the moment. Come to terms with time and make it your friend instead of your enemy. Let go of what you have decided is rightfully yours and accept the gifts that are given. Find peace in patience.
