Finding Emotional Balance
When things went as planned it was a wondrous experience. Two children feeling at one with each other, laughing and smiling. However, in my experience with the see-saw, things didn’t always go as planned. For example, there were the times when I was high in the air and my partner chose to abruptly abandon the game upsetting the precarious balance. Instead of floating back to earth, I would rocket to the hard packed dirt with a bone-jarring thud. Then there were the times when I tried to see-saw with someone much heavier than I. The result was a perpetually tipped board, with me stuck at the top. The person on the other end had complete control of my fate. He or she could allow me to sink then abruptly change my course causing me to fly off the board.
Sorry, enough of my illustration. I was taken back for a few moments there to my childhood. Our inward thinking and feeling processes are somewhat like this game of teeter-totter. When there is a harmonious balance between thoughts and feelings we are happy. There is a rhythm to life that allows our feelings on one side to go up and down in natural acceptable and enjoyable ways. On the other side, our thoughts and understandings of life do the same.
Then something happens. Perhaps it’s a traumatic event or something upsetting. Maybe someone says something to you that makes you think of painful past experiences. As a result thinking seems to abandon the see-saw completely and abruptly. We are left with the weight of our feelings. Our lives seem to come crashing down in an explosive impact. Or perhaps our feelings become so heavy our thinking is thrown off the other end. Either way the balance is disrupted.
A few days ago, one of my children was dealing with a great deal of stress. While I was trying to help him address the issues he finally blurted out, “I can’t think. There is too much going on inside.” He had become paralysed to even the smallest decisions. I have experienced that sensation.
Cognitive therapists tell us, “Change your thinking, and you will change your feeling.” When feelings tend to overwhelm us, we must change our thinking—change the other side of the see-saw. Think new or different thoughts. Add thoughts that will once again balance us out. Shift our position on the see-saw. Easier said than done.
I always liked the teeter-totter, but it requires cooperation from both sides. It requires a give and take, a true balancing act. So it is with our inner powers, the weight of thinking and feeling.
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