I Don’t Deserve Most of What I Have
Most of us compare what we have with what we see others possess, and rarely do we find joy in the fact that others have more than we do. When I drive through upscale neighborhoods and view all the large beautiful homes with their manicured lawns, I can’t help but wonder “where do they get all that money?” I wonder what they do for a living, how much of their lives are consumed by acquisition, and if their things bring them any sense of wholeness.
When I was younger, I often found myself comparing what I had with what those who lived in these rich homes had. I wanted what they had and wondered how I might get those things as well. I felt it wasn’t fair. I was a hard working person. I was intelligent. I was a good person (well, for the most part). I deserved better than what I had.
Then I changed my perspective. Rather than looking at those with much, I turned my gaze to those with little. Many of the families I work with regularly live below the poverty line. Some are single parents trying to raise their children on minimum wage jobs. Most are hardworking and intelligent. In addition, I continue to be amazed at their goodness. Many would give me their last dime if they thought I needed it more than they.
The things we have in this world are not always the result of what we “deserve.” They are often the product of fortunate circumstances, opportunities others don’t have, or simple blessing–grace. For example, I am fortunate that my parents had the means to send me to college. I met a young woman yesterday who is attending college one semester at a time. When she runs out of money she quits school to save some more. She may or may not make it through because of these additional burdens I didn’t have to deal with. I didn’t earn or deserve my free education. It was a gift from my parents.
As I grow older, I am increasingly aware of my blessings because I’m moving my focus from those who have to those who don’t have. When I compare myself to those who have little, I’m aware of the gifts I’ve been given along the way. I understand that everything I have from my physical health to my financial security is far greater than what many others have.
If I truly believe that I don’t deserve most of what I have, it should alter the way I treat others, how generous I am, and the way I celebrate life and God. I am overwhelmed with gratitude.
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