I Need Other People
I realize the assumption that “I need other people” seems rather obvious. We all know that we rely on other people for all kinds of things in our lives. The food we purchase at the grocery store arrives there because of other people. The homes we live in were built by other people. The automobiles we travel in were produced by other people. If we didn’t need other people, we would be forced to live the life of a hermit producing all our own food, caring for all our own medical needs, and hand-carving all our own utensils.
When I talk about needing other people, however, I’m talking about needs that go beyond the external products and services others provide. I’m referring to deeper, internal needs–growth and connection, for example.
point out the obvious and not so obvious I’m about to miss,
correct my vision toward injustice,
point me toward truth,
reveal my inconsistencies,
challenge my thinking and my acting.
grant me the blessing of their smile,
hold my hand and extend my length,
hear my pain,
see my tears,
teach me to laugh,
grant me forgiveness.
Without other people I would never change and I would live in a cloud of loneliness. It’s easy for me to begin thinking I don’t need others. “I can figure this out myself,” I say. “I can change without others’ help. I can lift myself up with my own bootstraps.” The reality is, however, that I need others to reflect back to me who I am. Otherwise I delude myself and become blind to my faults and my inconsistencies.
I also need others to offer me love and acceptance, hope and forgiveness. Without these things, life is not worth living. So why are we (and I include myself here) so quick to build our walls and push others away? Why do we want to prove to everyone that we are independent and self-reliant? I am not a rock, nor an island. I am a tree in the forest, dependent upon the intricate ecosystem that sustains me.
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