God Loves and Forgives Me
I’ve been reading through the book of Psalms lately as part of my morning devotion time. I take it slow–one psalm or part of a psalm at a time. I find that when I read scripture like that, I’m much more likely to slow down and ponder the meaning of each phrase. I’ve read the Psalms many times before, but for some reason this time many of the passages disturb me.
I’m disturbed because of the way some passages portray God. Time after time, God is called upon to bring destruction to the writer’s enemies. The God of the psalmist is a God of retribution and anger, a God of violence and vengeance. Consider this passage:
Surely God will bring you down to everlasting ruin:
He will snatch you up and tear you from your tent;
he will uproot you from the land of the living.
Psalm 52:5
Or consider this one:
But God will shoot them with arrows;
suddenly they will be struck down.
He will turn their own tongues against them
and bring them to ruin;
all who see them will shake their heads in scorn.
Psalm 64:7-8
I struggle with these images and want to rationalize them away with all manner of theological excuses. Yet they remain. My dominant image of God is one of love and forgiveness. I picture the father running toward the prodigal son and wrapping his arms around him. Wasn’t that the way Jesus described God? I picture Jesus on the cross, moments away from his brutal death, and hear him utter, “God, forgive them, for they do not know what they do.”
The assumption that God loves me despite the wrongs I’ve done to others and to God, gives me the knowledge that I am valued and sought. Without such love I would flounder in self-deprecation and spend my days in despondency. To know I’m loved despite my “unlovableness” gives me the ability and desire to love all-manner of others. I reason, “If God can love me like this, then I can love others in the same way.”
The assumption that God forgives me allows me to escape those parts of me I abhor. I can face each new day knowing that the ghosts of my mistakes will not continually haunt me. With forgiveness I have the possibility of moving beyond the insensitive words and actions of my past to forge a new and better future.
I will continue to live with the assumption that God loves and forgives me because I believe it to be true. As with all assumptions, however, they are continually challenged with competing assumptions–in this case, the assumption that God punishes and destroys. Even as we live from our foundational assumptions, we must also allow those assumptions to be challenged and expanded. Always remember the first assumption–I could be wrong.
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