Life is Fair
I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in a few months the other day. I asked her how she was. At first, as we all do, she said, “fine.” Then she hesitated and said, “No, not really.” She went on to tell me her husband lost his job the week before after 18 years of dedicated work for his company. He is in his late 50’s which will make it very difficult for him to find a new job. Who wants someone who is going to retire in a few years? This man is a good man. He is active in his church. He loves his family dearly. He is benevolent, kind, and encouraging to those who are suffering. So why would something like this happen to him? “Life isn’t fair,” we say.
My friend shared this information because she knew I would understand. I lost my job two years ago and it took me seven months to find something new. It was hard. I was a minister on staff at a church where I had served for almost five years. A new pastor came to the church. We didn’t always see eye-to-eye, and he asked me to do things I could not do. When I couldn’t or wouldn’t do what he asked, he had me dismissed. “Life isn’t fair,” we say.
I went to the dentist yesterday to get my teeth cleaned, one of those yearly chores I detest. “Yearly?” you say. “Aren’t you supposed to get your teeth checked every six months?” That’s true for normal people, but not for me. You see, I have great teeth. My hygienist and dentist told me after the check-up that my teeth looked great as usual–no decay, hardly any plaque, etc. When I told my wife, she said, “It isn’t fair. I take care of my teeth much better than you and I go every six months. They’ve never told me my teeth look great.” “Life isn’t fair,” we say.
If we understand fairness to mean “getting what we deserve,” then life is not fair. Good men, like my friend who recently lost his job because the company down-sized, didn’t deserve to lose his job. I didn’t think I deserved to lose my job. People I know who have gone through difficult struggles with health related issues like cancer, didn’t deserve that. Many families I know have suffered tragic deaths or wayward children that break their hearts. Nothing they did personally should have caused their sorrow. Indeed, my wife deserves to have better teeth than I do because she cares for hers with much more care. “Life isn’t fair,” we say.
If, however, we understand fairness to mean impartiality, we have to stop and reconsider our presupposition that life is not fair. Impartiality means that everyone is treated the same. No one is given preferential treatment. In the larger scheme of things, this is true. It rains on the rich and the poor, the dishonest and the honest, the benevolent and the selfish. The sun also shines the same on all these people. Being honest, wealthy, or benevolent doesn’t keep a person from a tragic car accident. On the other hand, being a scoundrel doesn’t either. The poorest of characters sometimes win the lottery as do the richest of characters. Life is fair.
What we really want is for life to be unfair. We want to be shown partiality. We want an advantage. We want to have all the good luck. We want things to go well so we can demonstrate we deserve more or are somehow more worthy than others. Unfortunately, or fortunately, life is too fair for that. Good things as well as bad things happen to all people–life is impartial, and thus, life is fair.
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