The Different Ways We Interact with the World
The other night I took a stroll through New Orleans’ French Quarter. No, I wasn’t on Bourbon St. I grabbed a bite to eat at a local restaurant and stopped by Café Du Monde for an order of beignets. With my book in one hand and my goodies from the Café in the other, I was doing my best to blend in and not look like a tourist. As I crossed a street heading back to my hotel a woman stopped me.
“What sign?” I said.
“That one right there.” She waved in a general direction toward nothing. “I’m going to have to write you a citation.”
She pulled out a pad and started marking checks.
“You are in violation of being too handsome.” I knew immediately I was being conned. “You are also in violation of girl watching.” I promise; I wasn’t really doing this. Okay, maybe just a little.
After that she went into her spiel about needing donations for Meals on Wheels, which I’m all for. In the end, she dropped the charges and gave me a couple of souvenir baseball caps. I gave her some money for a worthy cause.
One of the things that stuck with me after that encounter, other than her bizarre and novel approach, was her insistence that I had been girl watching. I have been known to do that on occasion, but not in the way you may think. You see, I’m a Watcher. I like to watch people, pay attention to their mannerism, and listen to their conversations. I take it all in as a way of learning about my world and the people in it. I often blend into the background at parties or even at meetings, sitting quietly, observing. One can learn a great deal by keeping his or her mouth closed and observing interactions, group dynamics, and the personal quirks of other people.
The next day after my encounter with the “Girl Watching” patrol, a fairly new acquaintance of mine said to me, “You just stand back and watch everything, don’t you?” She had me pegged. She was able to see this in me because I think she, too, is a watcher.
This tendency doesn’t come natural to everyone. For example, some people are more Touchers than they are Watchers. Maybe you are one of these people. They learn about their world by touching. They are comfortable putting their arm around someone else or touching another person on the knee while talking. They don’t think twice about massaging the shoulders of someone they barely know. How better to get to know them? Other people are Doers. They interact best with the world by jumping in with both feet to try something out. They learn best by getting that immediate feedback that comes from active involvement.
Touchers and Doers have a lot of great qualities. I wish I were more like both of them. I’m not, however. Instead, I watch the Doers and Touchers and learn from them vicariously. Although we may each have a learning preference, I think it’s important to stretch ourselves once in awhile, learn in a different way, and try to experience the world as others do.
Questions for further reflection:
- Which category of learner would I put myself in–Watcher, Doer, or Toucher?
- How would it benefit me to stretch a bit and try a style out of my comfort zone?
- How can I use an “unnatural” style to improve my reflection on life?
Comments
Share your thoughts...
