Changed Behavior Requires Depth Work
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Talking about the need to change our behavior as a way to show God our love is easy to talk about, and most of us would agree to the principle. However, when it gets right down to it, changing behavior is a very difficult thing to do.
We do what we are now doing for a reason. The things we need to change are often long term practices that have become ingrained in our behavioral patterns. We do them because they bring us some perceived benefit. If they brought us no benefit, why would we continue?
Okay, you need an example or two. An obese person continues to overeat despite the fact that he knows it is hurting his body. He does this, assuming there is not a hormonal problem, because food also makes him feel good in the moment. He likes the taste; it offers him small joys in a life filled with despair; the sugars help him over humps of depression or boredom. We could say the same for an alcoholic. The large consumption of alcohol obviously does damage to one’s body. At the same time, however, it helps the abuser forget her pain; it offers a coping mechanism for too much stress; it acts as a social connector to others who are also drinking.
The same is true for sins in our lives that God asks us to change. We do them even though we know they are wrong because they continue to bring us some benefit. Consider these examples:
- Anger gives us a sense of self-righteousness.
- Pride grants us superiority over others.
- Lust offers us imaginary companionship.
- Materialism provides us things.
- Revenge gives us a sense of justice.
- Envy provides us a sense of entitlement
- Greed gives us a god that demands nothing from us.
The list goes on. Whenever God points out something in my life that I need to change, I have to stop and ask myself, “Why do I continue to do this? What is the up side for me?” Recently, I caught myself talking badly about another person. I can’t simply change that behavior by telling myself not to do it again. If that’s all I do, invariably I will slip back into the same pattern because talking badly about someone does something for me. It makes me feel more important. It pumps up my ego. It makes me feel like one of the crowd if others are talking badly about the person as well.
To change the behavior I must address the underlying issues. Why is it so essential for me to feel more important than I do? Why is it so important for me to be liked by this “crowd”? Once I answer those questions I can begin to address those underlying issues of self-worth. That’s what leads to change. Yet, at the same time, that kind of depth-work is difficult. I don’t want to change sometimes because I’m afraid to look that closely at myself.
If I truly love God, however, I will do the difficult task of self-evaluation. I will look deeply at myself and addressing the core issues behind my behavior. This is a long term proposition. Change related to ingrained patterns rarely happen over night. Do the hard work and it will happen.
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