Changed Behavior Requires Positive Choices
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There is a whole field of thought out there I’ll call the “Little Engine that Could” approach to life. This way of thinking is based on the children’s story about the little engine that made it to the top of the mountain because he kept telling himself, “I think I can, I think I can.” We also see it in popular books like “Think and Grow Rich” by Napoleon Hill and “The Power of Positive Thinking” by Norman Vincent Peale.
The philosophy is quite simple. If we want something badly enough we can attain it by setting goals and making conscious choices to attain those goals. I hear this philosophy being preached from pulpits on occasion as a way to bring needed change to our lives. Focus on what God wants for your life, the preachers say. Set that as a goal. Continue to remind yourself, “I can do this,” and choose everyday to do it. I want to both dismiss and affirm this approach to change.
First, let me dismiss it as a falsehood. Simply because we can envision something doesn’t mean we can necessarily accomplish it. Sometimes, no matter how much we tell ourselves, “I think I can, I think I can,” the mountain is too tall, or we don’t have the needed resources to climb it. The alcoholic I mentioned yesterday can’t quit drinking simply because she envisions something different and tells herself “I can.” Sometimes there are physical impulses the brain cannot control. A mentally ill person cannot by the force of his will stop himself from sinking into depression or even from hearing voices that tell him to do wrong.
The same is often true of our lives. To envision a more loving person or to simply tell ourselves we can become a more loving person, does not make us so. There are often deep issues in our lives that prevent us from being the loving person we want to be. For example, the emotionally abused child that grows up to be a distant, emotionally abusive father will not be able to change his behavior simply by telling himself, “I think I can.” He must also actively address the root cause of his abuse.
Similarly, the mother who worries continuously about her children cannot dismiss that worry simply by telling herself she won’t do it any more. That kind of change will take some work to determine why she worries, what she’s afraid of losing , and so forth. “The Little Engine that Could” mentality has its limitations.
Even as I dismiss this way of thinking, I also want to affirm its use in bringing change in our lives. I do think it can be helpful if we use it in conjunction with the depth work I talked about yesterday. God has given us a free will with the power to choose a different path. We cannot simply blame a past traumatic experience or some environmental problem for our misbehavior. God still asks us to change.
That change begins with a vision of what God desires for us. It continues with a choice to do whatever is necessary to move in that direction. Those choices are never as easy as simply saying “I’ll do better.” Instead, those choices require hard work like seeking help or to doing the depth work I talked about yesterday.
If the “Little Engine that Could” mentality simply means setting a goal to be different and by the force of our will making the right choice in every future situation, we will fail. However, if the approach means envisioning something different for our lives then doing everything needed to bring about that change, then it can work. Perhaps what you need to do is seek professional help. Perhaps you need to confide in a friend to help remind you. Perhaps you need to do your own personal depth work to discover the root cause of your sin. Perhaps you need to quit denying you have a problem.
Sometimes we simply need to envision something different and make the very difficult choices to move in that direction.
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