Changed Behavior Requires Patience
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I wish I could say, “Tomorrow, I will start eating a healthy diet,” and it would be so. Unfortunately, it rarely happens that way. When I go on a diet, I am making a positive choice to change my behavior. Often this works for a while–a week, a day, a few hours. Then, there comes a time when I am tired or depressed and my will is at its weakest. At that moment, instead of choosing to continue my healthy diet, I choose to allow food to comfort me. I use it to self-medicate my blues away.
Or maybe I’m not depressed at all. Maybe my wife and I go out to eat and the food simply tastes delicious. The portion before me is enough for three people, and I revert to my childhood mode of cleaning my plate in order to be a “good boy.” The good food along with cleaning my plate give me a sense of satisfaction and peace with the world–at least for the moment. Later I regret my actions and want to beat myself up.
In either of these scenarios, I’ve done the depth work to know what food is to me and why I turn to it. I’ve made a choice to eat healthy. I’ve even talked to God about it and asked for Divine aid. Yet, I still fail.
Each time I make a wrong choice and don’t follow my desire for a more healthy diet, I have an additional choice to make. I can berate myself and throw in the towel, or I can evaluate what happened, make adjustments, forgive myself, and move forward.
I’m using my diet problem as an example, but we each go through the same kind of activity for any kind of positive change we’re trying to make in our lives. Change takes time. It requires us to be patient with ourselves. It demands perseverance and self-forgiveness.
I have issues in my life that God has been working with me for years. I’m aware that the progress has been extremely slow, and many days I get discouraged wondering if I will ever make progress. Then, however, when I stop to evaluate where I am now compared to where I was last year or ten years ago, I realize that progress has been made. While I am verbally punishing myself for my failure, God is saying, “Way to go; look how far you’ve come. I’m proud of you.”
Rarely, does change happen so dramatically as it did in Saul’s life on the road to Damascus. More often it is slow, sometimes up and down progress. If we choose to give up trying, we cannot please God. We show God our love through perseverance, through daily choices, and through patience with ourselves along the way.
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