Recognize God’s Wonder with Silence
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On most mornings, I sit in my ”prayer chair” to talk to God. My chair is a comfortable recliner in my office. My oldest son has already told me that when I die, he wants it. My guess is, he’s not thinking about using it for prayer. In the meantime, I’ll hold on to it and continue to use it as my place to meet God.
Typically, when I sit to pray, I am seldom without words to say to God. I like to talk aloud. It fills the space of the room and helps me to concentrate on the words I want God to hear. I talk about my concerns, my kids, my temptations, and my sins. I tell God of my love and rejoice in God’s goodness. All this talking passes the time, empties me, and fills up my room.
Recently, however, I sat in my chair and no words came out. It wasn’t because I was trying to pray any differently. Rather, I was struck with the realization of God’s magnitude, God’s wonder, and God’s infinitude. I was struck dumb. What can I possibly say that this God doesn’t already know? Who am I that God is even mindful of me? Why do I fret over such trivialities in the presence of One so powerful? I spent the morning prayer time in silence, simply sitting with God and being thankful that God allowed me that grace.
When I drive from place to place across the state of Oklahoma, I like to listen to books on tape and sometimes the radio to keep me company. It keeps my mind focused on something other than the monotonous hum of the tires against the road. At home, I’ll often spend part of the evening in front of the TV watching a ballgame or a movie. Usually, I have a book in my lap at the same time. It drives my wife crazy. The point is, however, that I look for ways to fill the silence of the house.
Most people I know are the same way. We look for ways to fill the silence. Some people like to hear their own voice and can’t seem to stop talking. Others put on their earphones and listen to their Ipods. Still others talk on phones, watch TV, or are drawn to loud, lively places. This tendency to fill the space of our lives with sound or activity keeps us from acknowledging the wonder of God.
Today, my mom and I took a drive into a neighboring county in search of an old, rare covered bridge. We found it reaching across a slow moving creek deep in the countryside of central Kentucky. Steep banks tilted toward the water below; leaves cascaded off the trees into the current. Large trees lined the bank. A mighty Sycamore, ghost white, raised its arms toward the bridge in a frightening pose. We walked through the bridge and commented to each other about what it must have been like to live in such a place two centuries ago.
On the way home we drove in silence. No radio. No conversation. Mom and son in silent reflection. I thought about God, the wonder of the earth, and the flow of history through the ages. Life changes. Life continues. Life stays the same. God has been, is, and will be. These moments of connection with God come when I take the time to be silent.
In silence, I’m not thinking about what I need or want to say to God. I’m not trying to hear God’s voice to me. Instead, I’m simply allowing God to be God and me to be me. I’m understanding that despite the uncrossable canyon of difference between us, we are connected. I am allowed to seek God. I am allowed to connect with God. I am overwhelmed to the point of silence.
I leave those moments with joy on my face and in my soul. I also have no doubt that God is thrilled with those encounters as well. God loves it when I simply want to spend time in the divine presence without any demands or expectations. Just silence.
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