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Offer God Your Unique Self

In the last couple of weeks I have been experiencing a good deal of inner turmoil.  It began when the pastor of my church asked me to consider doing a rather large task.  At first I was inclined to do what he asked for a couple of reasons.  First, he is a very persuasive person. 

Second, however, is my inclination to cooperate, to be part of the solution, to help out.  My pastor asked me to do a task that I, in all outward appearances, am capable of doing.  He wanted me to do voluntarily what I had done as a career for 20 years up until two years ago.  I had the obvious background and know how.  I had been successful at the task, at least moderately so.

The decision seemed quite obvious.  The church had a need and I had a skill set that could meet that need.

Over the next two weeks I turned my attention to the task at hand many times in an effort to think about how I might approach the task, how I might organize others, etc.  I was hoping for enthusiasm and excitement about this ministry opportunity.  Instead, I discovered that every time I thought about it I felt despair, dread, and anxiety.  I could feel myself sinking rapidly into a pit of depression.

Eventually, I told my pastor I couldn’t do it.  The question remains, however, “What does it mean to offer ourselves to God?”  I believe God delights with us when we offer him our abilities.  It is a way for us to say, “I love you enough to serve, to give of what I have and what I can do on your behalf.”  After working in the church for over 20 years I discovered that most people want to offer God their lives in some kind of service.  The difficulty is, they don’t know what service is right.  As a result, most people end up doing whatever the pastor or some committee asks them to do.

However, when we choose to offer ourselves to God in that way, several tragedies take place.  First, we often do a lousy job because our heart is not really in it.  As a result those to whom we minister never receive the quality of service they might otherwise.  In the end, we know we have not offered God our best. 

Second, when we accept positions that don’t “fit” us, we are miserable.  We have no joy in what we are doing.  It soon begins to feel like a ball and chain around our neck pulling us down.  I was a church education minister for 20 years.  Over the years, I found less and less joy in the task.  I went through serious bouts with depression.  

When we find ourselves in such a position we often continue to do the task because we know we will feel guilty for quitting.  We don’t want to let our pastor down or we don’t want to let God down.  I know now that God is not let down when we step away from such tasks because God doesn’t want us doing that in the first place.  And as for your pastor. . . .  Well, here is what my pastor wrote to me in an email after I decided to refuse his recent request. 

I want to thank you for the serious way that you have engaged with my proposal – I also want to give you the freedom to walk away from it without any guilt.  My hope and desire was to invite you to engage at a point of call and passion for you.  I want it to be where you sense joy, not dread or anxiety.  I want you to serve in a place of passion, not depression. So, if this is not the right time or the right role, let’s step away from it.  Joey, know that I care more about you personally than I do about the function of the institution. 

That was a beautiful response, and if the person asking you to do something doesn’t have that attitude then he or she should.

The third tragedy associated with offering God that which is not in us to give is that we never discover the way we should truly be offering our lives to God.  In truth, this is the worst tragedy of all.  I believe that because God made us uniquely, we each have unique offerings we can give back to God.  We must all ask ourselves regularly:

  • What is unique about me? 
  • What brings me passion? 
  • What is on my mind a lot? 
  • How can I offer this uniqueness, this passion, this concern to God?

For me, in my life right now, my offering does not require I hold a position in the church.  God is working different things in me that have to do with creativity and writing.  God has granted me opportunities to write curriculum which I love to do.  When I follow that passion, I am offering my best to God.  It’s a genuine demonstration of love.  In addition, I truly enjoy writing this blog.  Sitting down at the keyboard every day is an offering to God of what I can do; it’s giving of myself to God. 

God is also growing new passions and concerns in other areas of my life.  As that happens I actively work on figuring out how I can use these to make offering to God.  One of the major ways we show our love to God is by offering up our unique selves.

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