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I Suffer from Spiritual-Truth-Forgetfulness

A few years ago I read Dallas Willard’s Book, The Spirit of Disciplines.  It was a wonderful book.  I underlined many significant passages and wrote myself notes in the margin.  The spiritual truths I found there were bound to change my life.  Two years later I somehow acquired another copy of the book.  Completely forgetting I had already read it once, I embarked on the journey through the text one more time.  Again, I underlined, wrote myself notes, and made new commitments.

When I went to file my second copy of the book on my bookshelf I discovered to my amazement that I already had a copy of the book and that I had already read it!  Nothing I read the second time sparked any memory of the wonderful truths I discovered the first time.  How can that be?  How can I read the same important book twice within two years and not remember my first reading at all?

It’s because I suffer from Spiritual-Truth-Forgetfulness.  When I read the Bible or a significant book like Willard’s, God speaks to me.  God tells me things about myself I need to hear. God convicts me and calls me to change.  God teaches me important truths about how to live more rightly and justly in this world. 

I want to embrace these truths and make them part of my life, but invariably I forget them.  They stay with me for a day or two, perhaps a week, and they are gone.  For example, for years God has been teaching me how much he loves me and forgives me, yet I still have trouble grasping that truth and need continual reminding.  There is something deep within me that keeps contradicting that truth and telling me that I am unlovable or unworthy of forgiveness.

The problem, I think, is that I have developed a core set of beliefs many of which are unhealthy, false, and unproductive.  These core beliefs are often contrary to those new things God teaches me, but they are so ingrained and deeply set that they are not easily uprooted.  These “untruths” determine my natural way of thinking and acting.  They push out the new things God teaches me.

True spiritual learning is much more than recognizing a new truth or hearing the voice of God.  True spiritual learning must also include excavation of the old, wrong ways of thinking to make room for the new.

Comments

One Response to “I Suffer from Spiritual-Truth-Forgetfulness”

  1. Janice on November 4th, 2007 1:54 pm

    I like the way you linked the book to amazon. Nifty. Comforting to realize I’m not the only person who’s done a re-read completely oblivious to past endeavors……lol. Hopefully that doesn’t occur too often! ;-))

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